Day 39 ~ Letters

I have had in my hands a difficult letter for three weeks already. I haven't made any progress in knowing how to respond to it. The first feeling that I experienced when I received it was repulse--how can one like a letter that lists about 30 negative comments, including complaints, personal attacks, reproaches, put-downs, and blaming? The first night it disrupted my sleep. The second one, as I was replaying it in my head, the beginning of a possible response came to mind, just two sentences. I got up and wrote them down, then my thoughts led my hand to continue writing, and two full paragraphs emerged. I was satisfied. I knew it was not ready to be sent, but it let me go to sleep that night. I showed my response to two close friends, and they didn't approve. They thought it was very honest but wouldn't be taken well on the other side. I was able to convince one of them of the inability to produce a better one, short of lying. Nonetheless, I added a third paragraph to soften the content, and I waited a week without giving it much thought, just letting it sit. Then I reread my old draft and still liked it, but despite the softening paragraph, I wasn't able to get an OK from my friends. One more week went by. Finally today I had an inspiration when discussing it with my counselor. I got it! I found the only way David (me) could face the enormity of Goliath (the situation) and win. That was until I discussed it with my confidants and... back to square one.