Day 9 ~ Friendship

Not every day we get to enjoy the benefits of having a friend. Today I was lucky to enjoy friendship in various forms. I spend my Saturday evening with a friend of 5 years, as we do every week. We share that we like discussing interesting topics, that we are sensitive, and that we care--sometimes too much--about the world around us. Per my request, he brought me my favorite chorizo, which I had missed for weeks. After he left, I talked to another friend for almost two hours on the phone. She and I met pretty exactly 35 years ago. These days we discuss important topics, and we are both committed to understanding ourselves better and, as a result, to living a happier life. When we were saying bye, she expressed her appreciation: "It was like going to the counselor. You made me see it." Earlier, she made a similar comment about something else I had make her understand. Liking as I do being useful, it inspired me to write about friendship today.

Day 8 ~ Gratitude

There is a lot I am thankful for. But my uttermost appreciation goes to the good people who have crossed my path in life. I'm thinking right now of a few ladies from the farmer's markets. A fruit seller, a veggie seller, and a baker. All of them gave me their love when I lost my husband way too early in life. Today one of them, as usual, let me take an onion and a head of garlic for free. I went and bought her and her helper a box of some of my favorite cookies from the bakery that makes them best. And this leads my memory to some other amazing ladies I met on a bulletin board. We had been cyber-buddies for a couple of years. When they learned about my loss, they collected money and sent me a check of over seven hundred dollars. Money had never been important to me, never until that day. They had no other means to express their love. Love in the form of money for me. Or in the form of goods, like the farmer market's ladies. This morning, my turn: love in the form of cookies.

Day 7 ~ Justice

I discussed moral principles with a friend yesterday, hence my writing about it. I thought some more and I realize that the idea of having different moral standards depending on the circumstances is disturbing because of its relationship with fairness. You can justify any action you want as moral but if you can't label it as fair (my example of the math exam you passed cheating, that qualified you but eliminated an honest exam taker), then there should be a system in place to prevent it from happening. Continuing with the example, while it is "normal" that I pull a connection to try to make it into the program, the system should be such that it doesn't work. We can't rely on individuals for fairness because we are wired to provide for ourselves first. The reason why having different morals is unsettling is the same as why we want justice to the be equal for everyone.

Day 6 ~ Morals

I find morality a complicated subject. On the one hand there is supposed to be a natural law, a common ground for all humankind to know what can be done, and especially what should not be done. On the other hand, the "good Samaritan study" indicates that our behavior is highly dependent on our circumstances. That would lead to suggest a range of moral behaviors for the same individual. In other words: given the best of circumstances, one can easily be moral, but given a different set of circumstances, the same person could fall into a less moral side of the spectrum. For example: Would you cheat in an exam? High moral standards would say no. Now, how about a math exam if you know you'll never be taking math again because you are heading to art school? Perhaps you still say, "No, study beforehand and you don't need to cheat." OK, let me throw in a couple more "circumstances." How about you had a terrible teacher? Or perhaps a difficult family situation? Still not convinced? Let's add that you are at a very difficult school, and you know that other schools would have students pass with a much easier exam than the one you are facing. Would you do it? Perhaps by now, I have bent your principles a bit and you are leaning toward cheating with a fair amount of justification. You will not be harming anyone anyway... But let's just think that this exam will qualify you for a program that admits a limited number of participants. So by you making it, another student will be left out. Perhaps the one who didn't cheat. Now what? How do you decide? If we could zoom forward in time, we would find the cheating student having a wonderful life as a result of making it to that program. Likewise, the honest student doesn't have a good life because he was left out from the program. That is why I say morals are not easy to tackle. This all reminds me of Groucho Marx's quote: "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."

Day 5 ~ Shopping

I ended up in a side of town I don't usually go to. I saw a discount supermarket and didn't resist the temptation to explore. Coming out, a friend called and I told her about it. "What did you get?" she asked. "All silly things," I responded, "nothing I really needed." "But what?" I peeked in the bag and found nori (a twelve pack), pesto, a bag of washed spinach, a supposedly healthy choco-cookie snack, a bag of kettle-cooked potato chips (I had missed them so much!), and frozen puff pastry in cups. The latter was the only thing I really needed, a.k.a. intended to buy. I've been after a replacement for the seasonal biscuits I used to make strawberry shortcake, and I have found that puff pastry works for my toaster oven.

Day 4 ~ Volleyball

In comparison, volleyball is a fairly recent addition. While I had played informally years ago, it was only for brief periods and never with instruction. It wasn't until 2015 that I decided to take classes. What is similar to tango is that it requires concentration and that progress is slow. In my case, unlike what happens with tango, not having had any previous experience makes it all the more challenging. The first year I concentrated on serving, dedicating extra effort to that; the second year, I focused on hitting; the third, on setting. In recent months, I tried to switch to overhand serving, and I saw it improve, but I earned myself a tendinitis. I thought not playing during the summer break would undo the setback, but the pain is not completely gone, it comes back if I am not cautious. Caution includes no overhand serves and no real hits. I've been hitting flat, to prevent any shoulder rotation. So this will take me a while, presumably much longer than tango, to become an advanced participant.

Day 3 ~ Tango

I discovered dancing 25 years ago. Tango appeared in my life much later than that. As a tango master once said: "Not everyone can dance tango. You need to have suffered. Otherwise, you dance salsa, or something else." Indeed, tango appealed to me at a time of grief. I liked that it was hard, it required concentration, which detracted attention from the pain. Tonight at the milonga I smiled realizing I still care about my technique on the dance floor. "Did I change weight properly? Did my leg look elegant in that turn?"

Day 2 ~ Equinox

The solar calendar indicates that summer will be over tonight. We have beautiful autumn colors in this part of the world. But I don't like declines, and that is perhaps why I don't like fall. Its name reminds me of the shorter and colder days ahead. If I make an effort, I can think of some things I like from this season: roasting chestnuts, wearing dark brown, celebrating my birthday.

Day 1 ~ Tomatoes

Summer is wonderful. This morning I went to the farmer's market and bought tomatoes from my favorite stand. As usual, I chose the ones with the strongest scent, picking them one by one. I filled a bag, three pounds. Then I asked if they would be bringing out more from their truck. I took five more pounds from the load. Once home I chose the largest and firmest and made bruschetta. Next I selected the softest and made gazpacho. Two of my favorite summer dishes!